I've been thinking about this great post from G of the Junior Ganymede blog:
I loved this post for clarifying something that confuses the non faithful and the faithful alike. Faith is not, as some would think, a constant and unshakable 'sense of knowing' or belief. A 'sense of knowing' is necessary, but it precedes faith. And it's worth remembering that whatever sense of knowing you do attain can and WILL vanish, no matter how hard you pray, how strictly you fast, or how confident you are spiritually, intellectually or otherwise.
"In other words, faith is when you have had experiences in the past that made you feel great confidence in God, and you continue to act now as if you had confidence even though what you are actually feeling is fear, distress, and uncertainty."
This is well stated but begs the question: why defer to your previous Christ-believing self when you no longer feel that way? Isn't that disingenuous? This is why, as G points out, remembering is so important. Remember as best you can (more difficult than you might think) how you feel in those divinely inspired moments so that when you do choose faith (or disbelief), it’s not an arbitrary choice. Who will you follow in your darkest moments? I used to wrestle with doubts until I realized that I respect the man I am in those holy moment infinitely more than the cowering loser with anxiety that I am in my moments of doubt and fear. The choice is simple!
Comment: As for how to catch a glimpse of the divine, that is another topic for another day, (perhaps for someone else to write). The best I can suggest briefly is to seek God humbly and follow your heart. For me that is not an abstraction; I literally feel a welling in my heart.
